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What Being A NICU Parent Has Taught Me: Love Without End

I’m lucky, my husband is the love of my life. But I was naive enough to think that he would be the only love of my life. When my daughter was born, every loving feeling I feel for everyone expanded. I knew the reason why I’m in this world. It was in an incubator in the NICU, and I understood that I would devote every day of my life to raise her, to teach her, and to love her. But that’s not the extent of it all, I love everyone more deeply and sincerely now. I understood that what my daughter is to me, everyone is to their parents. Speaking of parents, I learned to love my parents for real, for all the sacrifices they made for me, and for the devotion they are now showing my daughter. A hard part of loving without end means that I quickly understood how unnatural it is to have to ask someone if I can hold, feed or love on my own child. If there were one piece of advice that I could give to a NICU parent it would be to advocate for your child. I love my daughter so much and would do anything for her, but I felt so disconnected and unattached to my own baby when I had to ask for permission to do anything with her. It broke my heart every day and I felt like I was the worst parent in the world. Loving without end also means hurting without end.

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